Just Not Enough…More Than Enough

I remember hearing this statement again and again when I was teenager. Things I did were ‘just not enough’. As I started growing up physically and spiritually this statement took a totally different perspective. I felt whatever I was doing, whatever I was striving for was just not enough. I felt I needed to do more to gain the prize for me. But every time I used to try as hard as I can I used to fall most of the times. Times I felt there was no going back. But yet, God in His supreme mercy lay His supremacy aside to make me understand that I could always rise. But that just wasn’t enough for me. I felt it were my works that was delaying His presence.

            I remember a time when I was hit hard. Even after God showing His Mercy and Grace always, I never got it. I said, “Lord, I failed you a Million times. And I failed You again. I feel You are tired of forgiving me. When I see Your people from Your Word, I see that they failed You once. But made sure they didn’t repeat failing You. And I keep failing you always. I feel I’m very far away from grace.” I was in this illusion for a long time and it was very hard for me to get out of it. And my Merciful Father, yet again, lifted me up from the pit and made me stand firm back up through His word from Hebrews 12: 4- 6, in which it speaks from Verse 5 saying, “My child, don’t think the Lord’s discipline is worth nothing, and DON’T STOP TRYING when he corrects you. He disciplines those he Loves.” This eased my pain and suffering a bit and I got back. But it was still Not Enough for me.

            Months later I was asked to help my church in something. I prepared the previous night for the task I was appointed to  and then prayed and went to bed. I was drawn into a crazy dream, in fact a nightmare. In my dream there was satan talking to me. It was a fiendish nightmare. In my dream I heard satan telling me, “You don’t deserve to go to heaven. You just are not good enough for it.” I asked him what charges he held against me since I have been Redeemed. Then he shows me this Book and tells me, “…this book has a record of all the good things people do in their lives.” Then, he slipped the pages to my name and said, “…your page is EMPTY. You have no good in you. You just don’t deserve heaven.” I was taken aback by his caustic remark. I was lost of words. I found nothing that could defend me anymore. I just looked at him in fear and felt all the good that I tried to do in life was a fiasco. It was just not enough. When I lost all hope, I heard a voice from heaven, saying, “…it is not the good he has done for me. It’s the good I have done for Him that makes him Worthy.” And that was it, satan pulled back in disgrace and I immediately got up from my sleep.

            The bible calls satan an accuser and Jesus your Defender. Satan might throw all the accusations on you to pull you down. Sometimes you might feel what all good your doing is just not enough. Let me remind you from what I learned, it’s the good God has done for you that makes you and me worthy. Not the works we do for Him. But what He’s done for us. So if you fall down, get back up. Don’t stop trying. Take every opportunity to ask Jesus to help you. God is too good to let go of you. It’s what He has done for us makes us worthy but not anything we do for Him. All we have to do is accept Him. Because, he accepted us just the way we are. Even when you ludicrously flunk in what you’re supposed to do…don’t worry…cause he looks at you and me the Way we were Meant to Be. When life hits you hard and you feel what you’re doing is ‘just not enough’….Jesus is ‘More Than Enough’.

Not because of who I am,
But because of What You've Done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of Who You Are.

-         Casting Crowns

I’m the one with big mistakes
Big regrets and bigger breaks
Than I ever care to confess
Oh but, You’re the one who looks at me
And SEES WHAT I WAS MEANT TO BE
More than just a beautiful mess

-         Matthew West

Through Your Eyes

                            

I remember the time Recession swept the World. People losing Jobs.  Hope being lost. Questions asked. Faith tested.  People finding it hard to recuperate from the damage when ostracized. People knowing that all hope is lost are constantly bombarded with miscellaneous questions.  Questions like…’What am I going to do now…How am I gonna explain it to my loved ones…Will I ever get a Job…how will I survive tomorrow without a Job?’

As believers we tend up blaming God. ‘God, I was so faithful to you…Why did you let this happen to me…Why did you let something like this come to me…Don’t you Love me anymore…?’ or we just sum up the whole thing with a short ‘WHY?’. That’s what problems do to us I guess. They are best in questioning our faith. They drown us in despair. We think life is not fair. We try to have a debate with our Heavenly Father. We ask Him how could he do such a mean thing to us. How does He allow hurt to creep in our Life. How does He call us His Children and yet let us suffer. How can He say that he loves us so much and yet hurt us so much. How can he see me shattered beyond all reasons. When you look into the mirror you see the surrogate of a failure rather than yourself. These problems are not only the ones which arise due to Jobs. Other problems or troubles which arise in life are equally degrading.

Problems are inevitable in this world of ours. Whenever I think of troubles I am astonished by the Story of Hagar and Ishmael in Genesis 21:8-20. When Sarah asks Abraham to let go of Hagar and Ishmael he prays and lets Go of them when God tells Abraham ‘do whatever Sarah tells you.’ So Hagar and Ishmael were sent away from Abraham. Hagar might have felt that it was the meanest thing that can ever happen to her. She and Ishmael being let go just like that. It says that “She carried all the things given to her with her boy and wandered into the desert of Beersheba. When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under the tree. Then she went off and sat nearby  and thought ‘I cannot watch the Boy die’ she sat there and began to cry.”

Hagar might have felt she had every reason in the world to blame God. She was isolated for no mistake of hers’, left alone at a place where she was watching her lil boy about to die. What else could she do apart from cry. She lost all hope for the situation suddenly rusted the once perfectly molded metal piece, because she had found favor in the eyes of the Lord and bore a child for Abraham once and now suddenly all the world falls apart right in front of her eyes as Abraham lets go of her and now she’s in the desert with a thirsty lil boy with no water. But I loved the story after that. It says, “And an angel of the Lord asks Hagar, ‘What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying there. Help him up and take Him by hand for I will make his descendants into a Great Nation.’” An amazing promise given to Hagar. Right in the midst of trouble the promise to Hagar changes the whole scenario. She has Hope again. In short God asked her to Take Heart for He was with her.

God says, “I will not leave you nor will I EVER forsake You. I am with you.” If God is with us, who can be against us. Our lives might be similar to the trouble Hagar faced. But I promise you, the God who was with Hagar is the same God for us too. He is the same Yesterday, today and FOREVERMORE. He doesn't want us to be just good, but He wants us to be MAGNIFICENT. And His Grace is sufficient for those who trust in Him.

And I ultimately Love the way the story ends. Hagar had faith in what God said. And it goes on to say, “Then God OPENED her eyes and she saw a well of water.” Hope Strikes again. In the realm of sorrow and grief Hope will strike again for those who trust in the Lord. The beauty of that passage is it doesn’t say she opened her eyes to see a well of water but it says, “God OPENED her Eyes.” When God opens your eyes there is hope. Hope to push you for another day. Hope that is enough to carry you till the end. Hope that comes with an assurance, “I AM WITH YOU”. That hope comes when God opens Your Eyes. For You see his inextinguishable glory take form in front of Your Eyes. When God opened Moses’ eyes he seen the splitting of the Red sea. When God opened Joshua’s eyes he seen the walls of Jericho falling down to ruin. When God opened David’s eyes he seen a God who was bigger than Goliath. When God opened Job’s eyes he seen Restoration. When God opened Simeon’s eyes he seen Jesus and said “My Eyes have seen Salvation.” When God opened Paul’s eyes he seen the Strength in Jesus Christ to live yet another day for Him. When God opens your eyes…


Your problem might be as vast as the Red sea but with faith there is always a way. After the way is paved, our troubles might be like the walls of jericho but it was faith that got the mammoth rocks come tumbling down. To face the troubles of the walls of Jericho we need to know our God is a BIG God. When we know Our God is a BIG God our eyes are opened and we see Restoration. When we see Restoration our eyes are opened for the Savior by Faith. When our eyes are opened for the Savior, God helps us to have the strength to live for Him. Our Hope is built on a strong Foundation of Faith. And that Hope comes from the Father...As he opens your Eyes... 

By the roadway in the wilderness He leads me

Rivers in the desert will I see

Heaven and earth may fade

But His Word will Never fail

He will do something New Today

                                                -Don Moen

Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something

There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet

                                                - Brandon Heath

Open the eyes of my heart Lord

I want to see You.

                             -Paul Baloche

Everything is Glorious

Imagine if you are in Love. Wait a minute…this will sound better…imagine if u get married to the person you truly Love. You, thinking of yourself as the superior one of the relationship initially try making everything perfect for the person you Love. Like for example, you want everything around you to be put in place…like the furniture being set in place or the flowers kept in the right spot or a portrait precisely aligned…oh yes…how can I forget the pictures…You put them up as if there’ll be a Gala taking place any minute and the whole world would be coming to see the fine piece of art in your house. All these will be done when the person you Love is off at work and will be coming home any minute. If you are a cook….even better…there’s a buffet at your place and it’s spared no expense for only one person. You strain yourself, sweat like a chef in a restaurant whose Job is at stake and the only one way to set it right is to drain the last drop of sweat, the last fragment of perfection to make a masterpiece and then feel overwhelmingly proud of yourself. And then the table and the plates precisely kept in place with the accessories and then the candles meticulously lined to perfection, you’ll sit there if you have to and take a picture to see if the light is gently lighting up your face and making it glow to perfection and imagining the person in that picture and making any slight changes in the scenario if necessary. Then have a cross check on everything and then make the ambience a more happening place by pumping the Kenny G’s greatest hits album up. And then just relax and wait for the person. Then the person arrives and is awestruck by the environment and then they finally come to their senses and realize that you did it all by yourself, everything so acutely planned to perfection, from the time the person enters in theoretically predicting what that person would look at. You shell out your time, your ego, your superiority to capture that one perfect second of seeing that helpless smile on that persons face.

            As time progresses slowly the whole concept of perfection changes. People tend to prioritize time as an entity of necessity and all that was once perfectly kept in place fade from their original positions and perfection or alignment is not an aspect of theoretical prediction anymore. People get so busy with life that the time they put up once for just spending it now start to buy it rarely.

            I was on my way back to Hyderabad from my project work. I was in the bus and was listening to music on my phone. I suddenly took time to have a glimpse of the dark landscapes and then not able to figure out anything from them suddenly looked up to the skies and seen the stretch of the stars galloping the sky. There were so many that you wouldn’t even dream about counting and for a guy like me, who stays in the city much and who hates traveling, it was really a flabbergast sight to see the sky illuminated with stars. Some shined dimmer and some shined brighter. It was the third time I had the privilege of watching a shooting star and was extremely over whelmed cause I remember watching them on cartoons when I was boy. I took time to enjoy watching this and was praising God. He made the night so glorious as if it was just for me. It was like as if He knew I was gonna look at the stars that night. And the shooting star was the fat lady singing her heart out. I looked in awe to realize what an articulate creator our Mighty God is. He made an environment so suitable for the human standards that people can literally live on the cliché of Love and Fresh Air. The timing was apt for the shooting star to burst through the skies and the timing was so precise that I was able to see it as it lasts only for a few seconds…maybe one or two. He thought about me so much that night that it was like he extracted the algorithm of my sight and sent the shooting star by. Now when I think of it, one of the other  greatest sights would be the sight of the dark sky and stars fading away and the hope of a new day coming to greet me from the transition of the dark clouds to a dominant but yet gentle and colorful blue sky with sections of clouds which can be imagined to different shapes and then the smell of fresh air, the sight of the mighty mammoth hills, the sound of the air ringing through my ears. Everything made only for me. It’s a wonderful feeling to think of…Made for Me. Why should He do something like that? He could have just left me to wonder on the stars but why the shooting star? Why the landscapes? Why the transition? Why choose me for something like that? The answer is not that our God is a Flamboyant God, not that He shows off his creation to us mere humans but the amazing fact that He did it for You and Me so that He could just show a fragment of His Love to us which is more than abundant for us. And the best part…He does it everyday for us. His mercies are new every morning.

            Think of the scenario of Love in the starting of this topic. Compare the furniture which is initially kept in place to the permanent Hills and Landscapes. Compare the flowers to the garden of beautiful fields. Compare the portraits and pictures with the the beautiful sky and its state of the art clouds. Compare the smell of Food to the smell of Love in fresh air. Compare the ambience and the candle light near the table to the star lit sky. And ultimately, compare the Love with the Cross…

I bet you would say…”You Make Everything Glorious…And I am Yours…”

When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
By a God so high
What can I do but thank You
What can I do but give my life to You
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
What can I do but praise You
Everyday make everything I do a Hallelujah
A Hallelujah, Hallelujah

                                                  -Paul Baloche

My eyes are small

But they have seen

The Beauty of enormous things

Which leads me to believe

That there’s Life Enough to see

You make Everything Glorious and I am Yours…

What does that make me…??

                                                -David Crowder